Coinbaseのグランドトークンバザール:モナドのマジカルセール🪙✨

金融ファンダンゴとしか言いようのない動きの中で、常に地味なコインベースは最新の仕掛けを発表した。それは、平民が汚い奴らに手を出される前にトークン販売に手を出すためのプラットフォームだ。ああ、独占権!資本主義の月例カーニバルの最初の回では、ダダイズムをお茶会のように見せるほど前衛的なブロックチェーン プロジェクトである謎めいたモナドがフィーチャーされます。

Coinbaseの神託によると、投資家、あるいは野心的なデジタル金権政治家と言うべきかは、わずか1週間だけUSDCの祭壇の前にひれ伏すことができるという。疑いもなく、長年の知恵が染み込んだアルゴリズムが、誰がこれらの神聖なトークンにふさわしいかを決定するでしょう。 🧙‍​​♂️✨

「トークンの起動が大幅に改善されました。」

→ お気に入りのトークンへの早期アクセス (リストに載っているなら、ダーリン)
→真のサポーターが優先されます(つまり、お金に余裕がある人)
→ 持続可能なトークン配布(それが何を意味するにせよ)
→ 米国のユーザーもついに参加できるようになりました (規制の抜け穴万歳)

Coinbase でのトークン販売が可能になりました。

あ、もう 1 つ: @monad セールが 11 月 17 日から始まります。 🗓️🎉

— Coinbase 🛡️ (@coinbase) 2025年11月10日

In a blog post dripping with the sincerity of a used car salesman, Coinbase assures us that their sale design “rewards higher allocation priority to true supporters first.” Translate: if you’re not a loyal vassal, expect crumbs. And woe betide those who sell their tokens within 30 days-future allocations shall be as scarce as a Waugh novel without sarcasm. 😏

Fear not, dear reader, for this spectacle is open to all, even the benighted souls in the U.S., who may participate sans fees. Token issuers, however, shall be fleeced with a percentage fee based on the USDC raised. Coinbase, ever the altruist, claims this is to prevent the token equivalent of a land grab by the plutocracy. How quaint. 🤑

Monad: The Blockchain Messiah?

Monad, a layer-1 blockchain network with delusions of grandeur, shall be the inaugural sacrifice on this altar of capitalism. Its mainnet and MON token are slated to debut on November 24, accompanied by an airdrop for the faithful. The Coinbase sale, a week earlier on November 17, offers 7.5% of Monad’s token supply at the bargain price of $0.025 per MON. Investors must ante up at least $100, with a ceiling of $100,000. Should all tokens find buyers, Monad could amass $187.5 million, valuing the entire token supply at a cool $2.5 billion. 🌟💰

Keone Hon, Monad’s co-founder and self-proclaimed visionary, took to X to proclaim: “This public sale has the potential to extend the reach of Monad by extending the distribution of MON into the hands of millions of regular people.” Ah, the democratization of wealth-or is it the commodification of hope? He added that Monad aims to shepherd the unwashed masses into the crypto fold, armed with technology ripe for mass adoption. How noble. 🙏

Today, we are announcing the MON public sale – an effort to give everyday people the opportunity to become a stakeholder in the Monad network token, days before the public network launch.

The public sale of MON will go live on Coinbase token sales, a new platform from Coinbase…

– Keone Hon 🎟️ (@keoneHD) November 10, 2025

This token sale platform emerges mere weeks after Coinbase’s $375 million acquisition of Echo, a crypto investment firm. Echo’s fundraising tools will be integrated into a separate token sale ecosystem, because why simplify when you can complicate? All tokens sold on this platform will eventually grace Coinbase’s main exchange, with plans to include tokenized stocks and real-world items. The goal? To help projects reach “real users” while keeping trading “fair and safe.” How reassuring. 🤹♂️

2025-11-11 00:09