テキサスはアメリカで最も神経質なビットコインの貯蔵庫になることに近い

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ああ、素晴らしい、私たちが必要としていたもの – テキサスはビットコインを蓄えています。なぜなら、「世界で最も不安定な資産に誰が信頼されるべきか？」明らかに答えはテキサス州議会議員ですよね？
👍🤦‍♂️

So, get this: a bill to create a so-called “Texas Strategic Bitcoin Reserve” just squeezed through a House committee. Floor vote next. I mean, when you say “strategic reserve,” I instantly think oil, canned beans, toilet paper… Maybe not magical internet money. But sure, why not?

On May 7, the Texas House Committee on Delivery of Government Efficiency—whatever that means; sounds like a pizza service—approved Senate Bill 21 on a 9-4 vote. Now it’s hurdling toward Greg Abbott’s desk like a reckless bull on Red Bull. 🦬🍵

This thing started back in January when Senator Charles Schwertner (Republican, obviously) rolls in with a “Bitcoin-only” plan. Just Bitcoin, nothing else. Not even a sprinkle of Dogecoin for fun. Then, in February, they tweak it so any digital asset with a $500 billion market cap gets in… which—spoiler alert—is still just Bitcoin. Way to broaden the field, guys. You’re like a dating app with one person on it. 🥲

If it passes, the state comptroller gets to play crypto-trader with public funds. Because why let Wall Street have all the anxiety attacks? Oh, and the bill already passed the Senate on March 6 in a less-than-nailbiter 25-5 vote. Those five “no” votes probably just didn’t understand what a Bitcoin is. Or maybe they’re still trying to program their VCR.

But wait! As if one crypto escapade wasn’t enough: there’s also HB 4258, where they could drop $250 million from the Economic Stabilization Fund—basically their rainy-day money—into Bitcoin or “other cryptocurrencies.” So, Texas is basically speed-running FOMO at state level. 🏃‍♂️💸

Then there’s SB 778, whose big idea is: Let’s accept taxes and donations in crypto, but if the state gets its hands on any Bitcoin, it can’t touch it for five years. “HODL,” as the kids say, or just being stuck with your bad decisions for half a decade.

Is Texas alone in this? Of course not. Other states are also busy doing their own crypto experiments. Arizona’s governor just set up her own reserve fund, stocking it with—get this—unclaimed digital assets. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like a lost and found for crypto nerds.

Meanwhile in New Hampshire, Governor Kelly Ayotte signed a law letting them dump up to 10% of their general fund into Bitcoin. Only assets over $500 billion market cap, though. Again, just Bitcoin. It’s like a weird exclusive club with one drunk member.

Brace yourself: 37 so-called “strategic Bitcoin reserve” bills are wandering around in 18 states, looking for someone to love them. Most of them? Dead on arrival. Florida, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Pennsylvania, Montana, Oklahoma… All said “nah, not today.” Maybe they just didn’t want the headache. Or maybe, just maybe, they still buy their coffee with quarters.

2025-05-08 11:45